(Tell Me Why) I Don't Like Mad Men

(This entry title is a play on the lyrics to "I Don't Like Mondays," an awesome song by the Boomtown Rats. I often think of doing a Cakey animatic to this song that further explores the painful suicide of Duncan's mother, but that's another story. Anyway, if you want to avoid any spoilers about the first season of Mad Men, skip the entry and enjoy this video, instead.

Also, I need a new DVD series to watch, so I'm open to any suggestions. Ally McBeal? Is that good? Square Pegs, maybe?)


OK, I finished season one, and I just don't get it. I just don't. Thank God they knocked off a lot of the "Whoa, it's 1960 so we're saying and doing crap that's ironic from today's vantage point, gagagooey!" but what's the appeal? Seriously. People love Mad Men, and I can't understand why.

It seems so pretentious, like it's very subtle and slow and takes forever to get anywhere (and even then, it's so mild and understated, except when Betty shot at the birds, and thank God that never had any repercussions, I say sarcastically). And barely anything happens.

And yet, even though it's subtle and everyone speaks in code all the effing time, it also seems so goddamned obvious. Like, in his very first line in the first episode, I knew Salvatore was in the closet. So was it supposed to come as a surprise a million episodes in when he makes subtle references to his homosexuality? Am I just intuitive, or am I one of the many horrible fans who pat themselves on the back for being far too young and clever?

I hate that there's no music in most of the early episodes. This had to be a conscious choice by the thousands of directors this show has, right, but it makes the pacing go over like a lead corpse. Maybe this gets changed in season two, because latter episodes, thank God, had a sprinkling of music. I seriously thought my DVDs were messed up and they were missing a track or a whole speaker's worth of sound, the absence is that obvious.

And I live in a frakkin' world of silence. I don't talk or play music for nine hours a day, and I live in quiet Astoria, and the background of my solitary world is nine million times louder and more lively than the world of Don Draper. WTF?

Speaking of the man, I absolutely do not understand him. I figured early on (again, is it supposed to be obvious?) that he's suffering from some post-war trauma, and obviously he either changed his name or stole an identity (after meeting that old army buddy on the train and not giving his own business card), but is his life that bad? Is it falling apart, as depicted in the credits? Why are you married to your wife, then, if you can't talk to her? Why not divorce her and get with the Jewish lady? Why'd you marry Peggy in the first place? Are you a sociopath? Gagagooey? Why make your leading man so effing unlikeable (and even then, eff that, Dexter is a psychotic killer and I enjoy his antics)?

Is it because EVERYONE in 1960 is unlikeable (except for eccentric Mr. Cooper, oh, what a wacky character, I say with only a touch of sarcasm)? Do you want to make a show with only unlikeable people? I guess so, because people love it! Again, I continue to ask myself, WTF?

The only scene I liked (let alone loved) the entire season was when Sterling threw up. Man, I must have watched that fifty times. And not just because I'm an idiot who's like, "WHOA, he puked, get the camera!" but I was fascinated that they did it digitally instead of with a special effects hose (which makes sense), but then he would throw up on the floor and the painted "puddle" wouldn't grow or change. It looked pretty amazing. Is that how people threw up in 1960?

I liked that episode, actually. A lot of code, a lot of nonsense, but at least Don Draper got his revenge, instead of one-upping someone with some witty line.

In "Nixon vs. Kennedy," which was much more of a season finale than the actual season finale (where, I'll admit, finding out that Peggy is pregnant was the one thing that surprised me, I figured they were doing a crappy job of making a thin actress play a chubby character), I was just hoping Don would murder Peter. "Just kill him!" I screamed, because it'd be something bold and decisive rather than pointed stares and awkward silences and passive-aggressive behavior.

Obviously, it didn't end in murder, which I admit would be ridiculous and stupid, and I was OK with the end, but I just wish Peter had to deal with the consequences of his behavior, at least once. Or Don. Or anyone except for poor Rich Sommer.

And the worst part is I'm hooked on the damn show.

So I'm addicted. Damn it.

I'm gonna watch season two just to continue trying to solve this puzzle. Because while I don't enjoy watching it, I DO enjoy hating it so much. My favorite part is adding sound effects after lines that I find particularly pretentious or cloying. The sound effect is usually something like "Doip!"