One such example, unearthed for the first time, is my entry into the Disney Chief Magic Officer contest, made in early 2008 (thanks again, Bill and Heather and Cakey):
I didn't win. I'm still a bit disappointed about it. And I'm embarrassed how wooden I appear onscreen. I didn't wanna write about the contest beforehand and get everyone psyched, and I never wrote about it after I lost because that was teh suck.
Sure, there's a nugget of wisdom to be learned from this experience, so maybe it was blog-worthy, but what was the lesson? You win some, you lose some? Life sometimes sucks? That sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you'll lose? Fail? Bleh. Eff that ess, I say.
Another case in point: the waffle sandwich incident. The wounds are still too fresh. It just came to such a sad, bad end, with the dream of a lifetime supply of waffle sandwiches crumbling into the harsh reality of an unreasonable three-per-day limit and expiration date of 12/31/09 (apparently their definition of "lifetime" is nine months), that I'd rather put it all behind me and move on.
As Nico sings, "Please don't confront me with my failures, I had not forgotten them."
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But WHAT HAPPENED? What is the STORY of the Waffle Sandwiches? Did it end in tragedy? What is so PERSONAL about it?
ReplyDeleteImagine being told you've won a lifetime supply of waffle sandwiches. How excited you would be!
ReplyDeleteBut then imagine finding out "lifetime supply" means you can only get three per day, and you will be cut off at the end of the year.
Then you find out these waffle sandwiches might not be offered through the end of the year at all - some places stopped making them on March 17th!
As a famous pizza slice would say, "Hey ya! I am bullshit!" Because all this fine print, that's not what it's about, man. You realize you were sold a hamburger but were told it's a filet mignon.
So, with a heavy heart, you decline the dishonorable prize, and cut your "Golden Ticket" in half. It might be a useless gesture, but it's a poetic one, nonetheless, for your heart is now broken.
Interesting, although I think I am most curious about the following:
ReplyDelete1) Did you enter and win this contest prior to ever eating a DD Waffle Sandwich or did you win after you started to get "obsessed" with them anyway?
2) How did you enter this contest. Online? In person? When did you enter?
3) Why "cut your golden ticket in half" considering you can still eat three Waffle Sandwiches a day for many more months? If you think about it, that many Waffle Sandwiches would be several times as many Waffle Sandwiches than would be eaten by most people in their lifetimes.
1. That's a good question. What came first, the contest or the obsession? Perhaps that's a mystery best left unsolved.
ReplyDelete2. I can't remember how or even when it all started... It's all a maple-infused blur. All the contest details are now gone from the site, replaced with their current "Create a New Donut Flavor" contest. I intend to enter with "BULLSHIT."
3. My original intention was to get 100 free waffle sandwiches and bring them to Cagematch. This I could not do. Additionally, if the good people at DD expect me to die on December 31, 2009 (since that is when my lifetime supply dries up), then they can have back their golden ticket.
It was a frustrating day, tensions were high, I might have acted a bit irrationally, but I stand by not taking the prize.
Also, I don't like their waffle sandwiches all that much.
Your answers are a cop out.
ReplyDeleteI gave Alexis a more in-depth story last night... Maybe those details will quench your thirst for the rest of the story?
ReplyDelete-Sun Kist
So, is there anyway you can get the card back from DD and pass it amongst your friends, so we can all each enjoy a month or so of free breakfasts? I mean, what a waste it would be not to get these free waffle sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteI've been financially compensated for the card, so I can't get it back. But if you'd like, I will buy you a waffle sandwich (or two Filet O'Fishes).
ReplyDelete- Lotta Pulp
GIVE ME BACK THAT FILET-O-FISH.... GIVE ME THAT FISH!
ReplyDelete