So because I am highly impressionable, I totally went out and bought a 1,000-piece puzzle, set it up on the kitchen table, and got to work. This was maybe two weeks ago, and last night Sarah and I finished.
Whee! Here's what I learned:
- Puzzles are boring. I feel like they're an exercise in obsessive-compulsive behavior. Seriously, sitting alone in the kitchen sorting out the ground from the sky, I felt like a vampire or ghost (or whatever the legend is) that has to pick up all the spilled salt/pieces of straw on the floor before I can go out and kill someone.
- My kitchen table is too high or something. It's uncomfortable to sit there for a long period of time.
- This is another time-wasting device, when I need more time-saving devices in my life. Life is unfair.
- I'd also work on this while Sarah was cooking or washing dishes, which makes me feel like a lazy ass, but truthfully, our kitchen isn't big enough for two people, even though we are small. It's just easier for one person to do the dishes. And she's a better cook than me. And at least I'm in there hanging out with her rather than spending time with the gerbils or Toon Link, right?
- It's interesting to note that when I'd suggest we switch (I clean/cook and she work on the puzzle), she'd treat it like a grueling exercise in unfun.
- Charles Wysocki (who designed this puzzle) is a bastard! All those pieces of blue sky, the big cluster of trees, and let's not even think about the dirt ground, it's all really hard! Each of those sections I had to solve by trial and error, you couldn't figure it out from the colors. It was all muddy and stupid.
- Even though it makes it easier, looking at the box is dumb. It's like cheating. Just look at it once when you buy it, and then figure it out as you go along. I'm glad I didn't look at it, though for ages I wasn't sure where that gigantic dog was supposed to go.
- This puzzle has a KID RIDING A GIANT DOG. That's probably the main reason I bought it.
- I'd still rather do one of those Simpsons or Disney mosaic ones.
- Where do you buy puzzles? When I made up my mind to get one, it was like that junkie itch where I had to buy one RIGHT THIS SECOND, but where? Toys R Us in Times Square? That weird model shop down the road? And then I realized the simple answer: drug stores. All drug stores carry puzzles (though their selection might be shoddy). This is good to know.
- What do you do when you finish? I kind of wanted to frame it, since it's Pappy's First Puzzle, but as Sarah pointed out, neither of us are particularly fond of the design. And frames cost money. So what next? We destroy it and put it back in the box? Feed it to the gerbils?
- I'm going to exchange this puzzle with Oscarbait, and work on another, hopefully better, one.
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