Let's Japan!

Dusting off the cobwebs of this ol' blog to let you know of a slight change in my life.

On Wednesday I leave for Tokyo to perform in Steve Martin's Picasso at the Lapin Agile. I'll be gone for about 2.5 months, living the life in Japan.

And you can follow my exploits on this tumblr: http://talkingbreakfast.tumblr.com

Arigato!

Let's Christmas!

Christmas 2009 was a hit! And, for perhaps the first time in my life, I've felt like, "This was a good Christmas, and I'm glad it's come to a satisfying end," instead of the usual, "What?! That's it? I feel... so empty."

So what changed?

This season didn't have the outlook of being jolly - it came off of a pretty depressing Thanksgiving (where my 91-year-old grandfather, already recuperating from a recently broken hip, broke his wrist the morning of Thanksgiving), plane tickets that were mucho expensive (aren't they always?) and they edited out my favorite line from A Charlie Brown Christmas ("All I want is what I've got coming to me. All I want is my fair share."). Plus, my dog's still dead, and I don't think she's coming back.

But because of my grandpa's Thanksgiving trip to the hospital, there was no name-drawing for the family gift exchange, and I thought that made things nicer: everyone's gift was that he'd recuperated and most of us were together. Getting rid of gifts? G'04 it!

Actually, I did get a few gifts from my brother: a Sonic Screwdriver, but also a nice surprise - this Orange Bird pin that he picked up in Disney World...


And I love Orange Bird! I miss the li'l guy.

And getting that Christmas tree? I loved our tree and really enjoyed decorating it throughout the course of the month, either with real decorations or with stuff we've had forever. Having it for a month definitely made me feel like I got my fill of the season, and next year I might wait another week or so (just so it isn't pretty dead by the 26th, as it is now). And I loved making the Kinder Egg Nativity Scene and can't wait for the next one.

I was a bit disappointed to see that most of the old Christmas decorations from my youth (a walrus from Alice in Wonderland, an old lady - probably Mother Goose - riding a duck, one of those vintage Dwarfs I'm always talking about, this Oscar the Grouch head) are no longer with us, but I took it in stride. I wanted to plunder my favorites, but I can let the past stay with the past, and bring on the future with some new decorative traditions, like monkey head coin purses.

Maybe it's the realization that Christmas really is for kids, and rather than thinking that I'm a kid and I deserve Christmas joy for myself, I should try to give it to others. I learned this while watching Elf (for the first time!) last night. It's like, rather than trying to keep returning to Narnia, I have to accept that my time there might be over, and I now have to help others reach that magical Christian land. And maybe that's how I can get back, but it certainly isn't by helping myself.

Since my brother is having a kid soon, next Christmas will be the baby's first Christmas, and that's kind of exciting... even though he'll be too young to appreciate or understand anything.

Things I look forward to: pretending to be Mickey Mouse or Santa Claus on the telephone, which is what my uncle used to do to me. And I never stopped believing. Even now, knowing it was fake, I don't forget the wonder I experienced when talking to the two most important men in the world.

I guess that's why I became a bit jaded - I still want my phone call from Mickey Mouse, but of course that's not gonna happen, and so I stand around going, "That's it?" But what better way than to become Mickey Mouse? And to eventually become Santa? That's my plan.

So, like wisely deciding against thirds on that lasagna and ham we had last night, I feel good that Christmas is just about done. I don't wanna push it or anything. There's still Sarah's return home in a few hours and we'll exchange gifts, but all in all, what a hit! I feel like Ebenezer Scrooge felt after he got that World's Greatest Boss mug.

Dragon*Con: The Recap (Part III)

Something I forgot to mention about Dragon*Con: the art auction! Throughout the weekend, there was a big room of original art, and you could bid on the pieces through a silent auction.

I first went on Saturday, and immediately forgot my years of eBay training and just bid on some stuff - two paintings of Doctor Who as a hamster (the Fourth Doctor and Tenth Doctor) and four super-cheap drawings of Universal Studios monsters.

Then I realized, "Crap, bidding on these is binding, and I might not be able to fit all these in my suitcase." I returned to check and see if I was still the high bidder, but the Who hamsters went fast (damn it) and I eventually lost the monsters, too. So the art auction was all for naught.

But anyway, Sunday, bloody Sunday. Woke up, breakfasted with Kalika, and went to a panel on Doctor Who. At first, I was impressed by this kid dressed up as the 10th Doctor, but my respect for him waned as he quickly got bored and pulled out a Game Boy DS. Can't say I blame him, though, the panel spoke more about their opinion on the series rather than any interesting spoilers or insights.

My favorite part is when a girl dressed up as Neil Gaiman's Death (always a popular costume) asked something about the "Dialects." This confused everyone until they realized she meant "Daleks." This should give you an idea of the lameness of the panel, if this was my favorite moment.

Ainsley and I then headed to the Miss Klingon Universe Beauty Pageant. This, too, was a bit disappointing. I had high expectations for the talent competition (who wouldn't?), but it was plagued with microphone problems. One Klingon sang "Baby Got Back" with different lyrics. Two did comedic sketches. And one gave the Klingon marriage speech and dedicated it to Michael Dorn (Worf), who was one of the judges. That was pretty awesome, and then Michael Dorn went onstage and gave her a huge, dramatic stage kiss. But she still didn't win.

I spent another several hours with Cakey, and then got dressed for the Harry Potter Yule Ball. I wore my priest outfit again (since I didn't think the gnome attire was appropriate for the nightlife), and even though Lynn and Kalika repeated warned me about this dance, I was super-psyched.

It was simultaneously the worst and best part of Dragon*Con. The worst, because it was mostly awkward, overweight teens who are obsessed with Harry Potter. And the best, because Lynn and I were dancing in the middle of them. Granted, we got there at about 11:30, when most of the party died down (imagine parents also dressed in Harry Potter gear, patiently waiting for their kids. Oh, man, it makes me cringe in the most delicious way ever), so we missed it at its peak, but one girl DID fall down while dancing. Oh, God, that's cruel and it still makes me laugh. She fell down right next to us!

Note: This was also the only place I drank alcohol during the entire convention.

I am totally going to the Yule Ball again next year.

Oh, but we did witness one thing of beauty. As we were leaving, these three little kids (maybe 8 years old at the most) ran by, screaming and throwing glitter. And I thought, "I don't know if I'll ever have as much fun in my life as those kids are having right now," because they were really having a blast.

The nice part is thinking how they had to gather the glitter, like scraping it up from the floor, until they had enough to fill up their tiny fists. Then they organized it, "OK, on the count of three, we're gonna run and throw the glitter!" And then doing it.

That might have been my favorite moment of Dragon*Con.

Within 15 minutes, we left headed for the Mad Scientist Ball. It was filled to capacity, we waited in line, but when we got in, the dance party was over and instead it was a concert by ArcAttack!, a "high-tech musical collaborative, utilizing robotic drums, singing Tesla coils, sewer pipe organs, and other homemade musical instruments." Tesla coils! Purple lightning! Video game music (most of which I sadly couldn't identify)!

And then after that, we finally found an amazing dance party that was playing all '80s music (my favorite kind of music), but by that point, I was too tired and sore to really move much. 18 hours of holding Cakey will do that to you, and I finally gave up and went to bed.

And that, my friends, was Dragon*Con! Amazingly, the only outfit I didn't wear was the gnome one. Who woulda thunk?

Dragon*Con: The Recap (Part III)

Saturday (Day Two)
The hotel screwed up our reservations. We were supposed to get a room with three beds, but when we arrived, they said that wasn't possible, as a roll-away would constitute a fire hazard. They failed to mention our room had a small purple couch, so in the end the bed situation didn't matter, but as way of apology, they offered some free breakfast vouchers.

Since Lynn is a vegan and Kalika usually sleeps late, I got to enjoy two of the vouchers. I win! It was a breakfast buffet, nothing worth writing home to mama about, but the only thing better than breakfast is free breakfast, you know?

Anyway, after eating and dressing, Cakey and I did our thing all afternoon. Oddly, some of his biggest fans include middle-aged women, furries (maybe they think puppetry is one step away from being a furry?), and porny ladies. Cakey reaches across the entire spectrum, apparently.

I also spent some time at the merch tables (there were at least three huge rooms of merch, maybe more) and bought my goggles and computer game. I'm not that into merch (do I really need a t-shirt of some cult movie?), so it's easy for me to not spend money, but there was one Year of Yes moment that might have been a fail, and that moment had to do with a leather mask dealer.

I'm not in dire need of a leather mask (imagine what a superhero would wear over his eyes), but I'm not opposed to them, either. The cheapest of these was $45, which is expensive, and it didn't look great on me. I figured if I ever needed a mask like that, I could get a cheap plastic one at the costume store.

BUT... they had these $20 Mystery Boxes, each of which would hold something worth considerably more than $20. I saw them sell two, they had maybe eight left, and both people got nice, expensive masks. A bargain! I love bargains! And I love mysteries!

But I thought... do I need to buy this? And what if it isn't even a mask, but a leather collar or wristband or something useless that I couldn't even give as a gift? I was still undecided, so I decided to continue walking around, and circle back. About 10 minutes later, I decided, "Eff it, I can spend $20, and I'll totally use that mask for something" and walked back, only to find all the Mystery Boxes had been sold.

It still haunts me to this day.

That night, I changed into my (maskless) priest outfit and made my way out for the big Saturday fun. I had high hopes, since Friday was a pretty good time, but I have to say, Saturday kind of sucked.

The lines for just about everything were ridonkulous, but we did get into some burlesque show. I've seen literally over 100 acts of burlesque; I performed in the 1st Annual New York Burlesque Festival, so it takes a lot to thrill me. And this particular show... wasn't my cup of tea (read: good). We all left during the second act. A man in the audience, seeing a priest leave, asked with genuine concern, "Are y'all offended?"

Nope, just bored.

I finally opted to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show at like 2:30 a.m., about an hour behind schedule. They had a lot of trouble getting the DVD to play (which led to some pretty great catcalls). I've seen Rocky... too many times, and I was hoping the Atlanta cast would knock it out of the park, but they didn't.

In-between all the shenanigans and failures, I kept returning to the event where I should've been all night. It was in the huge ballroom that held the previous night's rave, yet it was mostly empty - less than 100 people were ever in there when I checked in.

And all night, they were just showing random TV clips. Something with Ricky Gervais, then some You Bet Your Life bits with Groucho Marx and Jack Benny, then an insane preview of a sitcom starring Mickey Rooney, Dana Carvey and Nathan Lane. Random stuff. It was insane and mesmerizing and very entertaining. And I bet it would've been life-changing to someone who was high.
At one point they played the old Tootsie Roll commercial, and everyone started singing along, myself included.

I should've stayed there longer, I hit this weird hypnotic state of tranquility while watching Lurch from The Addams Family sing a song while backed up by dancing cuties.



And, really, that was how I ended my Saturday night, alone and dressed like a priest, still awed by the glowing randomness that is television.

Dragon*Con: The Recap (Part II)

Let's reminisce! Gonna take it in the same way Schneider would, one day at a time. And the order of events might be a little off, please forgive me, we were up till about 4 a.m.

Friday (Day One)
Lynn, Kalika and I arrived in Atlanta in the evening (reminder: next year leave on Thursday night or super-early on Friday), and by the time we checked in to the hotel, ate dinner, got our badges and changed into our eveningwear, most of the events were done for the day (including, I am sad to say, a Cinematic Titanic presentation of The Wasp Woman featuring Joel Hodgson, Frank Conniff and Trace Beaulieu, which I really wanted to see). But that was OK, as there was still plenty of partying to do.

I wore my Ghostbusters uniform, since I didn't really have any idea what the convention would be like, and thought this was a safe choice. I even got a few compliments, my favorite one was a guy just hissing, "Venkman... Venkman!" in a pretty good Ray Stantz impression as we passed each other on the stairs.

Most of that night was spent walking around and looking at other people's costumes, which, as I've said before is one of my favorite things. A random search on flickr should give you a good idea of what was there, and I took a bunch of pictures which will hopefully be uploaded to my own account by the end of the week.

And lest you think we're a bunch of wallflowers, of course we took some time out to dance in one of the dance rooms. The cool thing about Dragon*Con is that every night there are one or two dance parties going on, and they're usually themed. This one was called "XTrack Party," and its theme seemed to just be "rave" or "generic dance party."

But it was still pretty good, and was probably the most fun I had dancing that weekend - mostly because I was still fresh. I have but one regret, and that is not dancing with Ms. Marvel, or at least telling her that her costume was amazing. It really was.

There was also some obligatory visiting of the Drum Circle room, which I believe is a tradition of Lynn's and Ainsley's, though it's not my cup of tea, and then we caught the end of a concert by The Protomen.

This is where things got bad. During their final number, one of the band members jumped from the stage. I think he was intending to crowd dive, but he jumped where there was no one standing, right over the heads of Ainsley and Bob, and he landed badly. Very badly, like, he didn't get up.

At first, I thought he might be doing it on purpose and faking, since who would intentionally land head first on the ground? But a few seconds passed, Ainsley knelt down by him to check on him, and pretty soon she was getting a security guard.

It was disturbing as heck, I honestly thought he could be dead, his body was just limp and splayed out, but Ainsley said he was at least responding to her saying, "Don't get up, don't move, help is on the way." And before that, he was trying to get up, so that makes me believe he didn't injure his neck or spine too badly.

We didn't see the EMTs take him away (though we did see them wheel in a stretcher), and I can't find any news on the Internet, but I hope he's OK. If anyone knows of anything, please let me know.

It's strange, going from having a good time to being awed and silenced by the fragility of human life, but that was basically how I ended my first night at the con.

Dragon*Con: The Recap (Part I)

So, Curious Jorge, you wanna know about Dragon*Con?

Well, it was pretty terrific. One of the most fun weekends I've ever had... and that says a lot.

And I didn't really do too much, either. I only attended one panel (on Doctor Who, and it wasn't nearly as revealing as I would've liked), skipped all the role-playing games (since I'm running two, yes, two, games this weekend, so I'll get my fill soon enough), and was pretty frugal on merch (I think I just bought goggles with 3-D lenses, a homemade computer RPG, and some gifts).

So what did I do, then, that made this such an awesome vacation?

In a word, Cakey.

For most of Saturday and Sunday, about 18 hours total, Cakey and I walked around, met people, got our photo taken, and handed out stickers. And it was a LOT of fun, more fun than I can put into words without making this entry too self-promoting.

From this n00b's perspective, a big part of Dragon*Con is taking pictures of people in costumes. I love doing it, but instead was one of the people getting their picture taken, because a talking cake is a pretty interesting novelty, even at a place like Dragon*Con.

And I normally shy away from the spotlight, too, even when acting in the Renaissance Festival or announcing for roller derby. Strangers scare me, what can I say? But Cakey made it totally easy. Whoa, reading that makes me think I'm gonna end up like Scarface (the Batman villain, not Al Pacino).

But I spent all day doing this. I'd go to one hotel, do a round, and be psyched because there were all sorts of new people in costumes, and decide to go around again. And that's how 9 hours would slip by, just going between two hotels.

One of my favorite experiences (and I don't wanna bog down the blog with a lot of boring details) was meeting Silent Bob (someone dressed up like him, not the actual Kevin Smith) warily watching Cakey and me as we did our thing.

I asked if he'd like a sticker, he hesitantly nodded, and, totally in character, didn't speak. From that point on, whenever we ran into him, Cakey would gleefully scream like a baby and want to be near Silent Bob, who was pretty freaked out and would run away. It was a very true and beautiful comedic bit between two awesome dudes at a con.

Also, I'm not crazy in acting like Cakey is a real person. I'm really not.

Anyway, this is the first picture I've found of us on flickr (Cakey's distracted by the merch)...


As you can see, I'm not dressed like a Ghostbuster, a priest or a gnome, because it wouldn't make sense for any of them to be with Cakey. And I wasn't gonna wear boring civilian clothes, so I wore my roller derby announcer attire.

You know, because we're classy like that.

I was frequently mistaken for...
- Ned from Pushing Daisies, I guess because Cakey sort of looks like a pie.
- The hallucination scene from Young Sherlock Holmes, which is more conceptual than anything.
- The cake from Portal. People would constantly shout, "The cake is a lie!" to which I'd respond, "No, the cake is alive." This lost its novelty after about the 50th time I said it.

And there's really gnome more to say about the Cakey-related part of the convention.

I'll write about everything else in another (shorter) entry.

Off to Dragon*Con!

In a few hours, I'll be Atlanta-bound for Dragon*Con. I still need to pack everything and read the 100+ document about all the stuff that's going on.

Looks like Atlanta will be hot and stormy, but with luck, I won't be seeing the outdoors until Monday afternoon.

Now let's get ready to party with Hermione Granger, The Baroness and Cakey!

Maine Recap II

Don't know if I mentioned this, but Sarah and I went back to Maine last weekend.

Things I saw...
- The island that John Travolta and Kirstie Alley live on.
- The biggest mosquito I've ever seen... and that says a lot, since I used to live near the Everglades.
- Two dogs, three cats (one in a car outside a highway Burger King).
- Ghostbusters II for Game Boy, which I consider the best Game Boy game ever.
- Owl's Head Lighthouse.
- A lot of Moxie paraphernalia.
- Most of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. It was OK.
- A ghost.

Things I didn't see...
- Porpoises, seals, and/or whales (on the schooner trip).
- Lobster rolls.
- The inside of a Duchess restaurant.
- John Travolta.
- The inside of Ghost Manor at the country fair ($4? No, thanks- I can see a real ghost for free).
- Any groundhogs.

Maine Recap

Maine was a lot of fun!

Outlet malls... yes!

Ice cream parlor... yes!

Beech Hill... yes!

LL Bean... yes!

Groundhogs... no.

Damn it.

Road Trip

Sarah and I are driving up to Maine this weekend, and I'm pretty psyched.

I don't often get to leave the city on vacations like this, I've really only taken two road trips in the five years I've lived here - one was a million-hour drive to Toronto for an improv festival, and the other was a wedding up in the Catskills.

It's weird to think I haven't driven a car since... 2005? That can't be right.

Anyway, I'm psyched! I've never been to Maine, so I don't know what to expect, but I've been told there are outlet malls and an ice cream parlor and a hill and LL Bean and groundhogs.

So we'll see how that turns out. I really want to see a groundhog.