It was a good year and it certainly had its funs and wows, but I dunno... I said Yes to a lot of stuff, but I ultimately feel a bit unsatisfied.
You see, there's something in me that really enjoys doing Projects. Big projects, ones that ultimately define my year: making My Wife, the Ghost and Cakey, for example, or writing and producing a Halloween jukebox musical.
And I feel that 2009 was bereft of a Project. Sure, I did a couple of puzzles and took some classes and ate a life-changing Chicago hot dog, but these are things I'd call Diversions (for lack of a better word). And while it's important to have Diversions, they don't give me the same sense of accomplishment.
"Ah," some would say, "but you DID do Projects in 2009! You wrote Disney Zombies, which is no small feat, and then you directed/produced The Hogwarts Improvisation Society, which was one of the greatest events ever," and those are completely true statements, but... I want more (more hot dogs, too).
Maybe part of it involves focusing too much on other people's Projects - directing two shows, for example, or working undercover for the Man - but then at the end of the day, I'm not making any progress on my own stuff.
Imagine the irony, then, of not saying Yes to myself.
Perhaps, during the two years of this blog (which in itself is kind of a Diversion), I took the idea of Yes too far and spread myself too thin, going off in all sorts of little directions instead of focusing on what I really want to do.
And that's part of my problem. I can get all wrapped up in some idea and follow that for a bit, and then leave my Project (whatever it might be) on the back-burner. A good example: while at home, I looked through my childhood drawings and letters and wanted to make a tumblr for them, because it'd be really funny to scan a notebook page with "DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS?" in big bubble letters.
But that's just a Diversion, to me. A fun one, but also a time-eating one, and so I asked myself, "Is this worth it?" and... well, the jury's still out, I kind of want to do it, even though it's a big commitment, but we'll see.
Anyhow, having learned that it's worthwhile to say Yes, and that you can say Yes too much, I've decide to conclude this ol' blog. I think we've hit a good stopping point, since 2010 probably won't involve saying Yes to so many things, just a few big ones.
I feel I should come up with some poignant parting words, but these two are always what I say, so I'll present them here in their originality...
This blog has been fun, but then again, it's about my life, and that's always fun.
Thank you for reading, I truly do appreciate it, and I hope that you'll say Yes in your life... but not to excess.
I remain, humbly, your obedient servant and faithful friend,
January 1, 2010